A Storm in the Pulpit by A.Dakala

Pastor Derek Bates was well known in the community as a dedicated church leader; who counseled single men and women and married couples in building a love relationship amongst God. His ministry seem to be very successful and has been publicized up and down the west coast uplifting troubled relationships into healthy spiritual leaders.

Church on sundays at times seem like an arena of speed dating. Everyone was looking for that man of God or God fearing woman to build a strong relationship with; especially when it’s started in Gods house, around God’s people and translated by God’s words. Of course no man is perfect and we can often lead a horse to water but we can’t make him drink. Brother Derek had lead many women to the waters to drink; but many were unaware of the contamination embedded deep in his soul. He would often fill in for Pastor Wilbert Hall the church’s Lead Pastor, who spends a lot of his time over the summers; traveling conducting missionary work.

Over the past few months, some church members have notice on a couple of occassions different women joining him in the congregation. But this one particular female that someone in the congregation recognized by the name Storm; has been with him at church for the past eight weeks straight. Pastor Bates has yet to introduce her to any of the church members and this sunday he will be preaching the word in Pastor Hall’s absence. Of course there wasn’t any concrete evidence that anyone knew Storm and the only time she has been seen is at church getting out of her new snow white Maserati.

Sister Gloria Williams says she spotted the two in Walmart Tuesday evening buying gift cards for the church annual raffle give away. She passed the young woman pushing a buggy down aisle three; she spoke to her but never received a cracked of a smile back. Pastor has always been attracted to those big butt coke bottle figured women; add her name to his list. Pastor Bates recognized and acknowledged her as well as introducing Stormy as a part of United Baptist Church of God’s newest family member. “So sister you are considering joining us or you have joined us?” said sister Gloria. Storm just smiled as she looked up at Pastor Bates, queuing him to intervene; as words fumbled out of his mouth. Sister Gloria said she either just left the gym, headed to the gym or that was a weekend outfit she had on because her titties did more talking than her mouth. Sister Gloria wanted to take off her shaw she was wearing and give it to her to wrap up what God gave her. Pastor had on jeans and his signature church shoes looking like a pimp out of a GQ magazine. He seem to be in a rush and almost cut off the conversation until sister Gloria heard her name being called over the store’s intercom system to pick up her car from getting a oil changed. Sometimes Sister Gloria stretches the truth a little so there’s no telling what she saw or didn’t see. It may not have even been Pastor Bates.

So that Sunday morning in church all of the nosey church ushers and part of the Deacons on the church boars, couldn’t wait to see who Pastor Bates had with him. So they all piled up on the first three rows to get a glimpse at Pastor Bates mystery woman. “A man with no kids, never been married; got to… be playing house with a full glass of milk” said sister Annie.

The congregation was prompted to stand as Pastor Bates made his way from the back of the church to the front. As the congregation looked on, none of them saw Stormy walk across the stage and sat behind the Pulpit. Pastor Bates walks up the steps and greets her with a kiss on the cheek and shakes the other two guest sitting up there too; hands. Women started looking at each other, roll eyes and Stormy sat there proud with her head held high as if she was the first lady; clutching her Louie Vitton purse. Then Pastor Bates wanted make an church announcement to the concongregation. Everyone was whispering. The usher haters were still, staring at Stormy side ways. “How dare he brings this side chic in the house of the Lord and parade her around us Christian folks like this is a circus.” said sister Pauline.

“Its been a great honor to fill in for Pastor Hall over the years, unfortunately he will not be returning to United Baptist Church of God; he has been called by the Lord to serve a higher purpose christ.” “So its a privilege and honor to introduce to you; United Baptist’s new Leading Pastor, Evangelist Stormy Sterling!