“A Scorned Woman’s Cry” by A.Dakala

Windows of Grace for some are based on their lack luster opportunities to take from others. Germination of a bruised seed, sometimes blossoms a lost soul. A tongue stained from years of lies, becomes embedded like herpes; that you can’t get rid of. Talking to a therapist is just someone willing to listen to the wordplay of a genius devil. A manipulator is far from being a people’s person, instead they play the victim to hide their flaws.

Now that I have your attention, let me be completely transparent. My name’s Regina Terry and I was once married to Brandi Holt. Two successful black women with promising careers, thought we were in love, we got married and we were lesbians.

Like any other love relationship, we were inseparable. Our situation was so unorthodox, because neither one of us has ever been with the same sex before until this. We both were in relationships with the opposite sex when we met. Both our past relationships ended with the guys we were dating; cheating. It’s seems like the more you give a man, and the more you try to be the perfect woman by proving it, the more they choose to be with someone less than what they had. Hell I gave this man things mental and physically that a King would be proud of. Even when I wasn’t up to it, I was there for him.

I remember crying all day when I caught my ex in a Waffle house late one night booed up with my ex best friend Tracey. She was suppose to be on vacation that weekend with her sisters and my so call man was suppose to be flying to Tennessee to watch his son play basketball. Unfortunately, a co- worker spotted him and then called me at 1 am in the morning. Neathless to say , I went to jail that night for beating Tracey’s ass inside Waffle house, and knocking out my ex’s car windows. They called the police and I volunteered to be handcuffed. Once I made bail the next day, I locked myself in my apartment, were I cried for hours. Later that night I decided to get out the apartment and go listen to some live music at the Kessa Lounge downtown. This is were I met Brandi, sitting at the bar, alone looking like she had been crying like me.

As I approached the bar and asked her if anyone was sitting there, she looked at me as if she was holding the space for me. “Unfortunately no one is sitting there, if it was it would be my man , well ex, I just kicked his sorry ass to the curb for cheating” she said. “Damn girl we going through the same shit, I just got out of the county for whipping some crackhead looking bitch’s ass, all booed up with my ex at a damn Waffle house, damn he cheated and feed the bitch”I told her. “Oh and that BMW with the moon roof , got four extra sunroofs too”. Brandi, Gave me a high five and laughed her ass off. I laughed too, and it felt good to get it off my chest and smile finally.

Hours passed and we still were drinking and laughing. Then my song came on, ironically it was Brandi’s song too, Ying Yang Twins, to the window, to the wall. Brandi grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor, well we made a dance floor. All up on to each other dancing. She had a beautiful smile and a lovely figure too. We danced and danced until my feet were burning. As the DJ played the last song, we paid our tab and exit the building. I offered Brandi to crash at my place since she was forty five minutes away. She agreed and followed me to my place.

Once we got there, we both were so tired. Brandi said she wanted to shower; I showed her the guest bedroom and where everything was located like towels and body wash. She didn’t have any clothes with her, since tonight was just a night out for us both. We were about the same body size. I told her to look in my walk in closet and see if there’s anything there she could wear for tomorrow. I also gave her a nice short set and tank top I wear to bed at times.

We both were females, I didn’t think nothing of it, we both standing in my room, talking and stripping off our clothes, butt naked. I went into my bathroom to shower and she went into the other bathroom. Yes the thought crossed my mind briefly of how sexy and beautiful she was. I had to snap out of that thought quickly as my soapy sponge soaked my breast. It had to be the liquor.

To be continued…….

“Just Add Magic” by A. Dakala

So tired of being single and waking up at 3 am on a work night eating bowls of chocolate ice cream to sacrifice her sexual desires became so common to a beautiful black “Queen” her friends called her. Over the last three years Josephine made life all about her career and saving money. She just wanted the American dream of having a happy successful relationship, two kids, a big house, a dog and a white picket fence. What she has been getting lately; were rehabilitated criminals, street wealthy, uneducated momma boys or emotionally unstable homewreckers looking for a woman to take care of them; welcome to Jacksonville Florida.

As soon as the guys she meets hear about her ninety day rule; the phone calls would stop or they’d automatically block communication. Giving up the goodies was not an option before ninety days; she confessed daily in her head. Josephine believed that anything worth having is worth waiting for and she refused to give her heart through her vjay jay.

She didn’t believe in praying for a miracle man. This time, she decided to try a more safer approach; online dating through a new dating site called “The Chat Room” founded by a self published book author name A.Dakala, who writes about relationships. The unique thing about this site, You only had 3 days from initially contacting someone to either give a green light or red light to exchange numbers and get to know each other. After 3 days, your exchange will be deleted permanently from contacting each other and you must move on to another person. The catch was to get to know as much as you could about the person with in 72 hours. Josephine was so excited, to build her profile, which only allowed one profile picture, one picture of your favorite hobby, food and television show. There were also only five personal questions to build your profile.

Rushing home after work, she took off her clothes, showered, poured a glass of wine, look through her pictures on her phone and logged onto the Chat Room. Setting up her page was not a easy task; she didn’t want to use her real name, so she came up with, “MsHazelEyes” as her screen name.

The profile picture chosen was a vacation picture from the beach, it didn’t show too much, and it didn’t cover up everything. The purpose of the picture was to show that she enjoyed having fun but at the same time looking for something and someone serious. It didn’t take too long before the messages started coming in, and they came in by the dozen. There was only 72 hours to review potential matches. Some of the guys had profile pictures smoking weed or cigarettes, they were deleted, wearing alot of jewelry looking like drug dealers, they were deleted, throwing up gang signs, definitely deleted. This started to feel like work to Josephine, so she came up with a strategy. Write down her top five must have qualities and three things that were deal breakers. She didn’t have a height complexity, but she wasn’t looking for Gary Coleman or Shaquille O’Neal, she needed him to be taller than five feet , five inches but shorter than six feet; since she was only Five two. She never dated outside her race but was open to it as part of her inter growth. After a few hours of swiping through profiles, Josephine realized that this dating application can be addictive. There were a few hot contenders, but being so easily turned off by the slightest imperfections had her swiping left on fifty percent of the guys that showed up as her match. Before long, it was after midnight, now there’s only a few hours of sleep to get and a whole bottle of wine was gone.

Somewhere between the wine and swiping, Josephine fell asleep, but was awaken by incoming message alerts on her profile. Out of twenty seven alerts, two individuals caught her attention. A younger gentleman name Rudy, who didn’t mind showing off his pretty smile and physical look from waist up, looks like he really works out and a similar age guy name Jeffery who looked settled and serious. No pictures of his cars or jewelry, divorced with no kids. The younger guy never mentioned kids or if he had been married or divorced. Sort of a mystery guy, interesting. Josephine definitely wasn’t looking for any hidden surprises or negative agendas.

She decided to message both of them, to keep her options open. The younger guy Rudy responded immediately, as if you was waiting by the site, his first few lines were gentlemen like, nothing out of the way. He asked the right questions as if he was really interested. The interesting thing about him is he sings in the church, is a son of a Pastor. As Josephine was talking to Rudy, Jeffery ping in with a “Hello Gorgeous, how are you today?”, he said. Josephine, lit up like a Christmas tree, but hesitated to respond back; didn’t want him thinking she was waiting by the site. Thirty minutes had passed, and the conversation with Rudy was getting deeper and deeper. Josephine could tell Rudy had to grow up fast being the older sibling of five kids, him being ten years older than the next sibling. He said , he had to go get some rest and would reach back out to her before noon. In the meantime, Josephine message Jeffrey back. “Hello Sir, thank you for the message, how are you”, she replied. Instantly, Jeffery responded back and the conversation to look off like a rocket. Like Rudy, Jeffery had tons of get to know questions, and everything he asked Josephine, he also answered. He definitely didn’t seem to be a selfish individual, and by the sound of his voice tone he was very articulate. Jeffery had been married before, and now divorced for over six years and took time to focus on his career and kids. By the vibes of the conversation, he was very passionate about his kids and seem to be a great father. Before long, two hours had passed, and Josephine realized it was after two in the morning. So she ended the conversing with Jeffrey, but promise to pick up where they stop later today.

Josephine logged onto her dating account, and notice Rudy nor Jeffrey had sent her any messages. Not wanting to be the aggressor, she patiently decided to wait and log off the site. Once one of them message her, she would get an alert via email.

Two days had passed, there were dozens of messages from other guys but Rudy and Jeffrey were a no show for the moment. Sitting at work, I guess it started to show on Josephine’s face. So at lunch time instead of going with the other ladies, she decided to walk a couple of blocks to Starbucks for some green tea. Now Starbucks is always packed during lunch time, but today she would wait for a table. Sometimes a person can get so caught up in their head with thoughts that you forget what you are doing. That’s just what happen to Josephine, she sat down at table pre-occupied by someone who only had their cellphone on the table as a place holder. Josephine totally ignored it and sat down anyways.

As she was standing down with her tea, a gentleman walks over and sat down in front of her. “I’m so sorry Sir, I didn’t know who’s phone was on the table, I will move” she said. “No need, I don’t mind sharing” he said

( Please follow me, like any blogs you read, and stay tune as I add more to this story everyday) this will be a movie.)

“Just when I needed God” by A. Dakala

Due to the pandemic and after fourteen years of service at my job, this morning the President of the company called for an staff meeting early this morning. I noticed that some of the top managers were not present. Today was the day, the company was shutting it’s doors and moving operations to Ontario California. I wasn’t prepared for this, I turned down a job that was only thirty minutes from my house to stay with my current company. Now I am in a bind and how do I break the news to Tessa that I have to move to the west coast. We not on talking terms at the moment, due to her inconsistent ways but I do owe her and explanation why I didn’t go to VA as plan. I just had a change of heart, now this happen.

I tossed all night, unable to sleep; no one to talk too. Sometimes I can’t believe this is my life, at my age still asking God what is my purpose. When I was broke I had more friends than I needed, now that I’m comfortable, educated and thinking like a grown man, I’m soliciting friendships unworthy of my caliper. The conversation I once enjoyed with my girlfriend has turn cold, as an unsolved crime case. I only have twenty thousand left in my bank account, if I move to California; that will not last long. Maybe I should take a chance and buy a food truck that my girlfriend and I had talked about for a year. I think I got discouraged on that idea since we were suppose to be business partners, but her faith in our relationship has been dampened like a camp fire trying to stay lit in the rain.

So confused, I decided to walk to the corner store and buy a few scratch off lottery tickets, to ease my mind. I hate to spend twenty dollars on luck but you can’t win unless you play right? Then I scratched a box and saw the words LIFE!

“Beez in the Trap”

Anytime I go out of town to pick up work for my trappers, I always ride by my neighborhood first to make sure there’s no undercover cop cars watching in the dark before I go home. This particular night, I decided to stay in a hotel a mile from my house and get up early in the morning to take a morning jog to scope out the area. I had a street value of a half of a million dollars of product that, the cops would love to get their hands on. I was so low key, that my main chic was treated like wifey, my side chic thought she was the main chic and my best friend Lo Lo was my right hand and my friend with benefits. I had no intentions of hurting no one, they all were important chess pieces in this game of cat and mouse.

That morning I got up early, put on my running gear. I made it look so legit. As I entered my neighborhood, a few people were out jogging, so I blended in perfectly. A few head nods and hellos along my run. I noticed a few unmarked cars from a distance, but just as I thought, they were on to me sort of. If I pulled up with what I had in my car , its going to be breaking news at 11 tonight. I backed tracked and jogged back to the hotel. I called up Lo Lo to inform her what was going on. Together we came up with a plan, she would take a Uber to the house with groceries as if she was living there with me, just to see if she would be approached. I paid for another night at the hotel so I could continue to park there. I drove to pick up Lo Lo and took her to Food lion store , from there she would call for an Uber to pick her up and take her to the house.

Once all the chess pieces were in place and Lo was headed to the house, she was to place her phone on speaker or use her earbuds, as I called her from my burner phone under the assumed name “Karen BFF”, she had saved.

As she pulled up I could hear the car door shut. I could also hear bags ruffling as well as keys. Then the front door unlocked, “I’m in the house” she said in a low tone. Wearing her ear piece, I asked “doesn’t anything look suspicious”, “not at the moment.” I told her to go upstairs and peek out of the blinds without being seen. Once she did she said, two cars pulled into the driveway, followed by four undercover cop cars. “Let the games begin” she said, then the doorbell rung. Lo, if they ask to search the house, tell them no and if they ask where I am, tell’em I’m expecting him home soon after he gets away from his main chic and or side chic so y’all can wait here if you want, I’m just the best friend who gets the benefits.

Soon after they searched the house and realized I wasn’t there, Lo Lo took the flashdrive that showed the Police Chief and the Mayor involved in a embezzling ransom act of the Bank executive’s daughter, and hide it in a box of cereal and put it in the trunk of my broken down Buick, in the garage.

“Debalce” by A.Dakala

Marriage failed because I was sleeping with the enemy, a fake rat disguise as a mouse. We were no longer friends and the all the hate had set in like grass stains in a pair of new blue jeans. I no longer loved this person anymore and my nightly prayers seem to beg for God to induct them into the Karma hall of fame. They no longer looked attractive to me and the energy that was produced from being in the same room with them; was like being in the desert with space heaters only swallowing your spit for mist water. Every word they spoke was a lie to me, sex was like a try out for a sport team that didn’t even peep your interest. Life with them started to feel unstable, forced and a punishing curse . I realized early they were going to be a replications of their mother, the unwanted surroundings of being a misfit and the years of verbal and mental abuse they endured as a child into adulthood. Sometimes you got to know when, enough is enough and throw in the towel. Not that you completely gave up, because you never gave in, to something that even with the slightest sunlight and water, would never blossom.

I realized when I came along; it was for a sense of security, for a life that had shut doors with miss opportunities and rejections. This was a way to hide the embedded truth of their sexuality, trust and love. Once a child feels their not love; they don’t know how to love back. The only affectionate that accured was that from a counselor or therapist, who got paid to listen to the bullshit over and over again. They didn’t argue back or get upset so the recipient feels loved; and relieved. I was a victim of someone who adopted a lifestyle of playing the victim; because they wasn’t loved by their creator.

Though disappointment is the gap between expectations and reality; unwanted love is always painful even when you see it coming a mile away, but hurtful when it’s from the person who you felt you could build love with; only to find out the war started without you having a army. They had conspiracers who was only briefed by cake batter lies missing key ingredients……God and Prayer. This mouse turn into a rat for cheese, because she had a donkey in her ear who still lived her life as a mule. How can a mother guide a child who can’t even stand on her own. Jealousy is a inherited trait, and I got caught in a Charlotte’s web or two ungrateful spiders. Ex-wife and ex-mother in law, two perpetrators fueled by greed.

“Impeachable-Entanglements” by A. Dakala

Lying in my girlfriend’s bed looking up at the cathedral ceiling as she walk downstairs butt naked to let her dog out to use to the bathroom. I truly love looking at her big ass, she’s truly a sexy woman from Head to toe. Our chemistry is unpredictably breath taken.

I glanced over to grab my cellphone off the night stand because I knew my Fiancée Angelica was blowing me up. I notice my phone going off when I was on top of Josena making love to her earlier. Angelica and I had a major fall out yesterday about her allowing her son’s father to use their son against her when he doesn’t get his way. Last week I over heard him calling her a stupid ass bitch because she took their son to Virginia to stay with her mother for two weeks. I snatched the phone and told the punk to watch how you talk to my woman. After a few exchanges of words with him and Angelica yelling at me to give her the phone and stay out of it; I grabbed my keys and left. When I got in the car I texted Josena and asked if I could come over and vent. She never tells me no and been begging me to leave some clothes there in case I needed to change. I haven’t left anything there but my toothbrush and not sure if i want to leave anything else being in my situation I am at home.

Sometimes I wonder if Angelica is even the right woman for me. She is more stable than Josena but lacks in all over areas.

Once I got to Josena’s place, she opens the front door wearing nothing but a house coat, that is how I ended where I am now looking up at the ceiling. Sex isn’t the only thing that makes a man smile but it’s truly a good foundation when it feels right and pleasing. As I’m lying here, I could hear voices downstairs, then it got louder. I get up half wrapped by a pillow and walk to the door, opening it slightly. I heard a man’s voice yelling “I surprised you didn’t I, you didn’t think I was coming home from prison” he said. Josena was studdering, I looked around the room to see what I could pick up to hit him with just in case he came upstairs. “Is that a fucking hickie on your neck?” He asked. Then I heard him smack her, pow! I quickly ran downstairs, as soon as he saw me, he pulls out a pistol and pointed at me. “Yea, I figured someone was here in my house with my soon to be dead woman, too bad two people has to die today” he said.

“Toxic Confessions” by A.Dakala

Leaving from downtown after meeting up with two of my closest girlfriends (Lori and Shay) and taking shots for a few hours, I was exhausted. A security guard who doing his best to get one of my girlfriends to give him their number but failed was convinced to walk with us to the parking deck for safety reasons. Lori, gave us the impression, that she wasn’t interested in the guy but they were walking and laughing at something he whispered in her ear. Shay swears she saw Lori slide a piece paper in his hand as he grabbed her hand to say goodbye. Her uninterested ass was looking back at him for a reason and he was too smiling to the point he stumbled on the curb heading to the elevator. We drove two separate cars, so when I got into my car, I noticed I had a few missed calls and some text messages. I reached into my glove box and put my gun ontop my lap as I strolled through my messages. Out here in Atlanta, you can never let your guards down.

Shay who was riding with Lori pulls up in front of my car, “girl is everything alright?”, yes, just checking my messages, I said. “Call me when you get home”, said Lori. “make sure your ass go home, no booty calls”, laughed Shay. “Bye hoes”, I said loudly but laughing because they are funny as hell. This guy Donnie I met a few months ago, had left me a dozen messages asking to see me. He is a great guy, just not my type, plus he is not stable. I need to stop at Walmart to pick up a few things and it was only midnight, so it shouldn’t be crowded in there.

The parking lot was full, some people were walking to there cars, but very few. Damn, I guess everyone decided to go to Walmart tonight. I pulled into a parking space and turned my car off, I honestly was feeling alittle tipsy from the liquor but not impaired. As I took off my high heels to give my painful arches a break and put on my flats, a black pickup truck pulled into the parking space to the left of me. My windows are tinted pitch black so seeing inside my vehicle is not possible. The vehicle looked familiar, but naw I said to myself, he can’t be, he is out of town. Curiosity was killing me, the person didn’t get out. I picked up my cellphone and called Shay to let her know I was at Walmart so they wouldn’t worry. “Hello, girl you made it home, girl yes, in here trying to reach Issac’s ass”, said Shay. “Well I just wanted you to know I made a stop at Walmart to pick up a few things and then I am headed home”, I said. “Okay, girl, well I’m going to try calling my man again, I’m sure he sleep and had a long day working, you know he works longer hours when he is out of town and then i’m going to bed”. As I hung up the phone, the passenger door opens and a female gets out the truck and walks around to the driver side. Okay, I know I am tripping, Issac wouldn’t be cheating on Shay, they have the perfect relationship. Then the drive and passenger both, walked behind my car. The direction they were going made it hard for me to see their faces. As I saw them walk into the store, I got out of my vehicle and took a picture of the license plate and on the front of the truck was a Atlanta Falcons tag. Shay’s husband was a huge Falcon fan, the throws some of the best superbowl parties. I got back into my vehicle and but moved to another parking space so I could see the both individuals clearly. A few minutes later the two people returned. It was Issac. He is walking hand and hand with this unknown Becky, even open the door for her right after they shared a lustful display of tongue kisses. This lying flirty ass man, is cheating on my girlfriend. I turned off my camera flash and took over a dozen of pictures. They didn’t even get in the front, they are in the backseat of his truck, the windows are getting foggy, it was clear that they were having sex or he or she was oral sexing the other. I wanted to run over there and bang on the window. I nearly sat in my car for over thirty minutes. He gets out first buttoning up his shirt and you could clearly see his belt was unfasten. Oh my God, this asshole is fucking in a Walmart parking lot. Then he cranks up his truck and slowly drives off, I followed them. There was a neighborhood behind the Walmart he pulled into. It was a gated community but the gate was open, so I drove in behind them, but went in the opposite direction. As they parked, I could see his truck and the two got out, I assume she crawled out of the backseat into the front as he was driving, because she got out of the passenger seat. They kissed again and she walked towards apartment building 306, I wrote that shit down. Issac, speeds away quickly, but i was in hot pursuit of his ass. We drove about another fifteen minutes and then he pulls into a Holiday Inn Express. This must be where he is staying. I parked in the hotel next to the Holiday Inn and watched him just sit there. Minutes later, he gets out with a suit case and was greet at the front entrance by another female who seem to escort him inside. I was so pissed. After my high was completely blown, I had to let down all of my windows and turn up my music to get my thoughts in order driving home.

I wanted to call Lori so bad, but they are cousins and it’s was after two in the morning. I should have already been home, in my bed, would of preferred being laid up having sex with a man that I did not have at the moment. Instead I’m witnessing this fake asshole out here parking lot pimping and entertaining thot buckets. I can not let my girlfriend continue thinking she got a King, when he is nothing but a thrill seeker and womanizer; I picked up my phone to call Shay, but she didn’t answer.

“A Needle In A Haystack” by A.Dakala

Jasmine and I have been together for three years and out of nowhere she ends up pregnant six months ago. For two years I’ve been keeping a couple of secrets from her and everytime it seems to be the right to tell her, something happens. This is her first child and I already have a daughter that I barely get to see in person but we do facetime each other; every other day. She lives with her mother in Belize, I normally fly there once a year around my daughter’s birthday.

This situation with Jasmine has really taken a toll on my thought process. My heart don’t want to disappoint her but my brain is telling me that coming forward is the best solution for both sides and don’t disappoint myself. See two years ago we had a major fall out. I stormed out the house and headed to the store to buy a beer. I had one hundred dollars in my pocket so I decided to buy a beer and a few scratch off lottery tickets. On the very last ticket. I had a match for a one million dollar prize. A part of me wanted to pick up the phone and tell her but my pride wouldn’t allow me too. That was two years ago and now this. I kept the money from her because I wanted to surprise her if we got married. I didn’t waste or over spend, in fact I bought her a new car but told her it was from my 401k money. I really want to repossess it from her ass but i know she needs transportation. But the ice on the cake was my biggest secret of all. I promise myself tomorrow I am going to sit down with her and spill my guts.

To be continued……

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