“Not attracted to options” by A.Dakala

Last night in my new home in Buckhead, LeAnna asked me if she was an option or a priority? I almost choked on the lemon pepper wings I was eating from Atlanta Best Wings. Not that I didn’t have the answer to her question, but the shit was out of the blue and caught me off guard. My answer to her was simple, “I’m not attracted to options.” She stared at me like she was frozen; and then I saw a tear drop. I swear it was like watching a movie in slow motion. She got up and ran out of the room crying. I wasn’t sure if it was happy tears or sad tears. Maybe, I should have said ” I’m not attracted to options; and your priority to me.” Of course I didn’t say it like that and now I have to clean it up and fix this. But she should know that she’s not an option, but I guess that’s like assuming someone loves you when they never say it.

Over the next few weeks I realized that her actions were a result of her past relationship. She had been hurt so bad by her ex that everything I did was under a microscope. Last night I was damn near tired as hell on a video chat with her, then I must have fallen asleep on the phone. When I woke up that morning around 5 a.m., I noticed she left a message saying ” You must have had somebody over your house, since you didn’t call me back” she texted. Damn, do she not realize we both were in bed on a video chat late. I mean dealing with someone who has trust issues, is like trying to parallel park a city bus in a compact space meant for a Volkswagen.

That message did something to me mentally and it was stressful thinking about it. For the first couple of hours of my Sunday morning, I had a conversation with myself; is this something I want to continue dealing with, or should I walk away from this? I mean it’s only been 3 weeks since we first met. It wasn’t about sex, we haven’t even got to that point, just enjoying each other company.

To be continued…..in a few days from now!

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