God why do you keep blessing me with the instincts of seeing bullshit from a distance? I’ve witness over 23 friends murdered in my lifetime and involved myself with worthless relationships that were more damaging than beneficial. Whether self inflicted or undeserving; i left a chapter in my life full of unanswered questions based on adopted choices made trying to be happy.
Now things that once had no meaning to me are those very things I strive to have.
I fell in love with a sexy enemy; ignoring the red flags sending signals to my heart. My mind and heart were on two separate pages. Mentally I was all in, she was sexy, beautiful and sex was to crave for. She just didn’t have the inside of her together, too many men in and out of her life; made it impossible for her to love someone when she hated herself. She depended on therapy and counseling to justify her decision making. From the outside she looked like a well put together diamond in the rough; but remove the make up, the name brand materialistics and the fake reality star mentally you would get a city girl trapped by her own motor city skeletons.
I was drawn in by the ambition of ones attention giving. I became reliable on seeing her daily, we had sex everyday for six months until it became habit; even on a day we would fall out with each other. Sex became an addictive drug. The more sex that was throw out like a fisherman’s fish line the more opportunities there were for white lies. I use to sit back and watch compare my relationship with her as a old beat up car with a fresh coat of paint on it to cover up the rust spots, dings and bumps.
The straw that broke the Camel’s back took place on her trip to her class reunion. All relationships have rules whether you together enjoying shared time or miles away spending time away with your old classmates. For her it was about impressing the past folks but lie to your man. See before this incident, lies had already surface that I watch her preach about that wasn’t true. But God reveals things without showing them. So her and I agreed that she would communicate periodically on her vacation; I wasn’t going to blow her phone up all night. Her event started at 9pm, I had just spoke to her about 730pm she said she had just got up from resting. I dosed off shortly after but woke up about 4am realizing I had not spoken to her. I called several times and even left a few text messages. This was on a Friday night. By Monday morning I still hadn’t got a call or text back from her as I was walking out of my door headed to work.
I got a call from someone who was also there, that explain to me that she got jumped by a woman who caught her in the hotel sleeping with her best friend’s man’s brother who was in town out of the blue together. Not only was this man married for 25 years; Pastor White as they called him wanted just sex. Her therapist needing couseling ass was mental unstable and all for his nice conversation game. Even the man her best friend was dating was a married man. Birds of a feather whore together I guess. That’s when I realized it was a plan behind choices of engineered lies she drew up. The work of a misguided genius that would suffer from the notice of intented karma.
Its like that old Verizon slogan “Can you hear me now”?