“Andrea Latoya Denice Scott Murphy Brown (Acrimony)” by A.Dakala

Sometimes you have to know when to walk away with a clean slate. Love hurts like a fresh scar, but over time wounds do heal. See when you throw bullets by hand without using a gun, the damages are repairable. No one sees your dream when they are still dreaming, you can’t believe in others when you don’t believe in yourself. Finally, how can you love someone  when you never been loved?

We met ackwardly but seem to hit it off quickly. Both tired of the bullshit we endured over the years dealing with unstable, selfish and self center individuals. Of course I overlooked the fact that the only wall between them and their past was a legal separation and a pending divorce or the fact that her life was valued on her friends opinions. Deep down I had my doubts especially when I would mention marriage, it was like krytonite to her. I had to understand that she did have two fail marriages; both resulted in cheating and the birth of other kids. So deep down she was a walking time bomb ready to explode.

When we got together it was magical, our sex was a cross between sexual fantasies and soft porn. No hold bars, nothing was off limits. Our kisses were hotter than the wildfires out in California. It didn’t take long to get us started all we needed was eye contact.

As the days, weeks and months grew longer; so did our love for each other. We found ourselves sexing every day, spending every evening together. We drunk bottles of wine, glass after glass and sexed until we were exhausted from multiple orgasms.

There was another side that I started not to like and that was the materialistic side, that made her feel she needed to buy expensive brands because her friends were. Unnecessary spending that had me questioning how life would be if we were to settle down. I loved nice things, but not to the point I needed to impress anyone. When she hung out with her friends, the bad influences would kick in. Having a man didn’t matter, the texts would stop, the phone calls didn’t exist. She started to change right in front of me, I saw it from a distance. When I mentioned it, it turned into a argument. Then things hit a dead end on a trip she took back home. Let’s just say, she enjoyed ignoring my texts and phone calls for 4 days while she spend time with her best girlfriend and the married man she was dating and his brother who was my so called girlfriend’s date. He also claimed to be a Pastor who conducted marriage counseling; picture that and he knew she had a man. I won’t go into details, but in 4 days, there were concerts, hotels, airport pick ups and lunch dates all under my nose. Things hoes do, man or woman.

So the relationship ended; for 5 months, and I wasn’t going to be bothered with her. I ignored every text and phone call from her. Until oneday I was caught off guard by an anonymous number. I didn’t want to be dudes, so I entertained the I miss you and I can’t stop thinking of you comments. I knew where it was going, she been out there fucking losers, and realized what she had in me and wanted to get back on home plate. She wanted to see me so bad. For the next two weeks, I played hard to get, then I broke down after the repeated sex talks and titty pics. No lie the pussy was the bomb, but I’m more than sex is what my mind was saying; but my penis was hard headed. What made it worst is that her son was gone to Florida for the summer; staying at her pops. So those sexual nights sneaking in the living, spreading covers on the floor, pulling out the KY jelly, had us in the bedroom for the summer. She would go shower, get out butt naked and instantly I would be turned on. She was all ass and breast.  We didn’t give a damn about the neighbors hearing us, bed post banging against the walls and we breaking masturbating records. Waking up the next morning not sure how or when we fell asleep.

Then reality would kick back in. What did we really have besides sex. At times we were compatible and then we wasn’t. Physically and mentally I was more settled down and out going with making things happen without procrastinating. She wanted to be kid free, like being a mom was a contract and once the kids were off to college her job was over. For me it was the opposite I loved my kids and would continue being a father to them even when they finished college. I loved things about her but I hated things about her as well.

Her trip to Macon I felt would re-connect our bond and it did one night. She was tipsy and I knew it but she wanted sex and we had great sex that night. Her favorite position was doggystyle and this time we recorded it like two porn stars.

The next night she was going out with the bad influencers to a home party. I texted and asked her what was she doing. She replied, “still having dinner and drinks”. That was around 7:30pm, maybe I shouldn’t have made an assumption, but I figured she would call once she was headed back in for the night. Nothing.

So the next morning I sent a text message voicing my opinion about it. We went back and forth, arguing through texts. She said if you want to talk you know how to find me. Hours went by, I really wasn’t going to reach out , but I said let me handle this differently. I sent 3 text messages, hours passed; no response. I picked up the phone and called, it went to voicemail immediately. I said “maybe I’m dialing too fast; I called again, same results. So I called her ass from my other cellphone and she picked up like she was waiting by the phone. “Oh so you blocking me now?” I said. “Well yes, because you seem like you wasn’t going to call me no more” she said. “I said ok, I got you and hung up in her ear!”. I blocked her from having access to me on all levels, emails, social sites etc. Until this day I haven’t spoken to her since, I’m sure she will have a blast at the essence festival with her freak-nik girlfriends. All I can do is wish her the best and thank her for months of us wasting time together just to sex.

Have another glass of wine, my dear.

A Heart Choice to make by A. Dakala

Waddell Crosby wasn’t your typical African American male with a college degree, tons of street smarts and loved by the ladies. He was the kind of man that a woman could love one night and call her best friend on other days; someone who would have your back and go to war with you whether you was wrong or right. Once Waddell was committed to you he would give you 100% of him; no part time anything in his life with reason.

A single man who could give a woman more than just a materialistic diamond ring or a Tiffany bracelet; he was the kind of man that most women would dream of having. Someone who showed unconditional love whether it was holding her hand while driving, arms locked while walking across the street or kissing on her neck standing in the checkout line at Walmart. Regardless anyone around Waddell would know that he showed his love to whoever he was with; his smile would light up a room; his well-groomed beard was somewhat perfect as if he was modeling his beard for a magazine cover, his cologne scent traveled from block the block. Fahrenheit was his favorite cologne; both men and women would always approached him and compliment him on how good he smelled.

But now there’s a new year approaching; 2019! Waddell is ready to settle down with one special woman in his life. The problem he’s having is he has been dating consistently three different women. There’s been no commitment to either woman just consistently dating, conversing on the phone but he have had sex with all three of them at some point throughout the course of dating them. Each one of these females bring something different to the table that one doesn’t have and now Waddell has to decide on the qualities that these female brings. Which one are branded qualities and which ones are qualities that could make a break a good love relationship.

First there was Fresca Sparkle, she’s sweet as black cherry citrus on a hot summer day but cold as winter. She was smart as Albert Einstein; love to read books and would correct you for using improper grammar as if she was a school teacher wearing Gucci shades standing in high heels. Well educated; holding a master’s degree. She really could have been a doctor. The problem with Fresca; she wasn’t consistent or persistent and couldn’t remember what she did day after day. She wasn’t into fashions, brands didn’t mean nothing to her. A typical day of dressing up for her would be wearing a nice sweatsuit with some flip flops and she would throw her long black hair back into a ponytail but she was sexy as hell though and very beautiful. She reminded me of a California woman cool, calm and collective that just wanted to be loved by a good man. Sex with her was like flipping a coin, some days it was good, some days it was just ok and sometimes it didn’t exist. When we was out on a date we had a great time holding hands, conversing and laughing with each other as if we were best friends and lovers; but there was another side to her that I hated. She always wanted to play the victim never was wrong, always was right and not to mention I caught her in so many lies I just never addressed it, it just wasn’t that serious to me. Another thing that I observed was all of her friends seem to be gay or lesbians.

One thing I did love about her though; no matter what she had my back. She never put her friends before her man even though I truly wasn’t her man but we were dating and she would drop her plans that she had to spend time with me on any given day. Fresca loved cleaning her house always kept it clean very family oriented; that definitely was a plus coming from a man who wanted to have kids and build his own foundation of a family. She paid her bills on time, she didn’t club, she didn’t drink unless it was socially and she never smoked. She was a good girl trying to be better and made it to the scale of wifey material possibly.

Secondly there was Constant Bauman; sexy as hell on the outside, wore the latest fashions, smell good and look good in everything she wore; a true diamond in the rough. Whatever the latest fashion and brands out there where she had it or plan to get it. The problem I had with her was she had low self-esteem and she couldn’t seem to make her own decisions without seeking the advice of her fake friends. Once again another female playing the victim like her shit don’t stink. Another issue I had with her was it seemed that all of her friends around her were gay or lesbians even though she claimed that she was 100% straight. I can tell in conversation that she’s dated a lot of men in her past life not that she’s had sex with all of them but she’s dating a lot of men most of them were drug dealers, on drugs at some point or proclaim to have money.

Now what I did love about her is the sex we had was off the chart; it was no holds bar. Whatever we wanted to do we did. I was truly addicted to making love to this woman; it was always exciting, full of energy and she threw it back just as much as I gave it to her. I can honestly say I never had a sexual complaint when it came to her, hell I’m thinking about sexing her right now as I’m writing this. She loved cleaning her house; always kept it clean; sometimes I wondered was it all just a showboat to impress people. Was she wifey material? She could be but there was a few things that she definitely would need to work on; like handling the same things that she dishes out. She was a work in progress; a good girl trying to be better.

Thirdly there’s Anastasia Faust; also a very smart and intelligent individual that would sometimes give you the impression that she knew way more than you did on any subject, any topic, any time of the day. She would definitely intimidate a weak man especially when it comes to making life decisions. Granted every man in her past life followed her lead as if she wore the pants. I guess that’s what happened when a strong-minded woman meets a man with no potential and the men in her past had no potential for what I’m hearing.

One of the things I didn’t like about her is not having enough drive in her life to do better or want more. Yes she was college educated but I still feel like she didn’t apply herself. She had a great mind for business, good with numbers, great with her hands; love to figure things out or read instructions and put things together. Family oriented on a scale of 1 to 10 I would say she was a four. The type of woman who at some point in her life wanted her freedom away from kids. Now when it comes to having a clean house, she damn sure was a pack rat and the whole time that we’ve been dating; I never seen her pick up a broom, a mop or even dust rag; kind of reminded me of a hoarder.

One thing I did love about her is the sex was great. Definitely no holds bar; there was no rules or no regulations; she could go all night; I made a tap out a few times. I never had to initiate sex with her as soon as she seen me it was hugs, kisses and then she would start unbutton my clothes. A true man’s dream; I’m closing my eyes now just picturing the softness of her lips on my entire body from head to toe. Well she wifey material definitely with alittle adjustment. She didn’t club, she didn’t smoke and she would only drink socially; she just loved having a good time and just wanted to be loved by a good man. A good girl trying to be better.

So I decided in the year 2019 I was going to make a final decision and choose only one of these ladies to be a part of my life, my circle, my growth and the last brick to my foundation. So I decided to choose from a very heart decision; Ms.!

Unpicture Perfect by A. Dakala

God why do you keep blessing me with the instincts of seeing bullshit from a distance? I’ve witness over 23 friends murdered in my lifetime and involved myself with worthless relationships that were more damaging than beneficial. Whether self inflicted or undeserving; i left a chapter in my life full of unanswered questions based on adopted choices made trying to be happy.

Now things that once had no meaning to me are those very things I strive to have.

I fell in love with a sexy enemy; ignoring the red flags sending signals to my heart. My mind and heart were on two separate pages. Mentally I was all in, she was sexy, beautiful and sex was to crave for. She just didn’t have the inside of her together, too many men in and out of her life; made it impossible for her to love someone when she hated herself. She depended on therapy and counseling to justify her decision making. From the outside she looked like a well put together diamond in the rough; but remove the make up, the name brand materialistics and the fake reality star mentally you would get a city girl trapped by her own motor city skeletons.

I was drawn in by the ambition of ones attention giving. I became reliable on seeing her daily, we had sex everyday for six months until it became habit; even on a day we would fall out with each other. Sex became an addictive drug. The more sex that was throw out like a fisherman’s fish line the more opportunities there were for white lies. I use to sit back and watch compare my relationship with her as a old beat up car with a fresh coat of paint on it to cover up the rust spots, dings and bumps.

The straw that broke the Camel’s back took place on her trip to her class reunion. All relationships have rules whether you together enjoying shared time or miles away spending time away with your old classmates. For her it was about impressing the past folks but lie to your man. See before this incident, lies had already surface that I watch her preach about that wasn’t true. But God reveals things without showing them. So her and I agreed that she would communicate periodically on her vacation; I wasn’t going to blow her phone up all night. Her event started at 9pm, I had just spoke to her about 730pm she said she had just got up from resting. I dosed off shortly after but woke up about 4am realizing I had not spoken to her. I called several times and even left a few text messages. This was on a Friday night. By Monday morning I still hadn’t got a call or text back from her as I was walking out of my door headed to work.

I got a call from someone who was also there, that explain to me that she got jumped by a woman who caught her in the hotel sleeping with her best friend’s man’s brother who was in town out of the blue together. Not only was this man married for 25 years; Pastor White as they called him wanted just sex. Her therapist needing couseling ass was mental unstable and all for his nice conversation game. Even the man her best friend was dating was a married man. Birds of a feather whore together I guess. That’s when I realized it was a plan behind choices of engineered lies she drew up. The work of a misguided genius that would suffer from the notice of intented karma.

Its like that old Verizon slogan “Can you hear me now”?

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