Pain Makes A Diamond Lexus by A. Dakala

Yesterday, I pulled up at the red light anxiously waiting for the light to turn green trying to get to my dentist appointment. To the right of my vision, I could see the front end of a white Lexus pulling up at a high rate of speed. My first thought, another one of these youngsters wanting to race because they see a nice vehicle on rims ready to test out their engine. As the turning light turns green, the Lexus moves forward and now we are even. I never even glance over to see who was driving. The traffic light turn green, I punched the gas pedal; I went zero to sixty in seconds, I could see the white Lexus gaining ground. Once I made it to the next light, I pulled into the gas station. The white Lexus pulled in right behind me. I got out trying not to make eye contact with the driver. “You know you cheated right?”, I looked up to a beautiful, thick and sexy pecan tan female walking towards me. “I didn’t know you wanted to blow out that little engine,” I said. She laughed and reached out her hand and I shook hers. “I’m Dak,” I said. She introduced herself as Shaky. “So I guess I will get your government name over dinner,” “What make you think you going to make it that far, you know we met before on the dating app right?”, “Yes I remembered you and I figured, at some point you will want to redeem yourself trying to get even, since I embarrassed you back there and you owe me an apology for not following through the first time we met.” I laughed, if I recalled, you went out with your girlfriends and was going to call me once you got home, after 2 am, I never heard from you.” “Ok, mister; you are right, I had too much to drink that night, second time is a charm, so call me.” She gave me her number and walked away, all I could do is say damn to myself and not mention I filled up my tank with gas when I was only trying to put twenty dollars in my tank. She had me distracted with that big butt.

Two weeks later, we finally going on our first dinner date after spending days talking on the phone and catching up with each other from our first encounter. I felt like I had been knowing her for years. So this is how it all started.

Both fed up with being alone and the world of merry go round dating, Shaky and Dak decided to give online dating a shot.  For months they searched, started over and met up with individuals with the same old lame mentality and none seem to be that one they both were looking for.

     A few minutes later the two chatted back and forth online; this went on for about a week or so. Everything seem to be out on the table and very straight forward; getting along very well we decided to exchange numbers.  There was a instant connection, we talked and texted throughout the day for weeks.  Naturally, the next step would be to actually meet face to face.  It was then decided we would meet; of course, Shaky being the old-fashioned type when it comes to the dating scene; she insisted I take the lead on making the arrangements.  

     Being that my life was a bit more hectic, Shaky was good with being flexible because everything was going well, and she didn’t want to add any additional pressure to my complicated work life schedule; plus she worked from home. 

     Today, was the day we would finally meet, I couldn’t wait but some time had passed, so I texted and called Shaky, but she didn’t response to either. A couple of days went by and then the anxiety of waiting kicked in. I got worried at first, then it that turned into anger; “was she playing games, am I the topic of her next girlfriend outing?” I said to myself.  I wonder was this all just a big; let me see if I can get him Interested or a misunderstanding?  I decided to take it to God, I knew I really liked Shaky and felt she liked me too but what happened? That night I fell to my knees and took it to God.

“Lord, please guide me in the right direction, whatever you tell me to do I will do, but God, if this chic is not in the hospital with a leg or arm wrapped in a cast or had a family emergency requiring her to get on a airplane to Cheraw, forgive me for the pimp words I’m about to release from my tongue on her ass” Amen.

     I decided to give her three days, that is what I told God and God agreed.  Either she will reach out to me or I would reach out to her for a complete understanding of her disappearing act.  “Father give me the willpower; this is the longest three days I’ve ever been through waiting on a woman; sitting in the dark.” 

     A one-sided view of a relationship unfolding. My heart believes God is the key to every dilemma, challenge and good thing in my life. No matter what, He has the final word and say so. It’s not clear as to how strongly Shaky feels about my beliefs but it’s still early and patience is the one thing I know I need to work on. 

     My request was honored. Three days of her silence; God would show that he was listening to my prayers. Shaky rose from the concrete like a rose in Tupac’s poem after three days, but this felt like months for me. Shaky actually texted her on the third day and explained her circumstances. Not sure if I was buying all of what she was selling, but I knew how to keep the receipt of lies just in case I needed to get a refund upon my investigation.

     We seemed a bit closer even after that situation; still not defining their relationship or the desire to embark on one with each other; just letting it flow and continuing innocently flirting our attraction to one another. I’m still practicing patience and perhaps Shaky was practicing precautions, both unwilling to commit to calling this the beginning of a relationship. After a few weeks of bliss, Shaky once again fell of the radar… here we go again. 

     Refusing to believe Shaky didn’t get how important communication is to any relationship regardless of the dynamics, I couldn’t believe we were back to square one and once again, I was left sitting in the damn dark, but this time I took my ass to bed.

     Lying there for a few minutes in silence after trying to get my own mind and heart together; the phone rang, and it was confirmation on the start of a new job. That call made me feel good but still there was one more answer I needed. “Did she move on, was she not the one or was I not the one for her?” I wondered. I decided to call Shaky from my home phone, and she answered. I was very cautious in approaching the conversation because after all, we weren’t in a mutually committed relationship. “Should I express my anger or concerns?” I thought.  All I felt was disappointment because I thought better of Shaky.  

     Apparently, I forgot she had blocked Shaky after drinking wine all night the other night and forgot to unblock her. She sent me screen shot of all the messages she had sent me.  So, there it was, an issue of technology and misunderstanding. God did it again! Shaky and I are no longer sitting in the dark waiting for each other, I see a light leading me on a path that only God knows where it will lead us. Our communication has to get better moving forward. Shaky also agreed to do better on her end.

     For the most part, Shaky and I were living life. I wondered from time to time if I was too much for Shaky. Was she afraid of getting too close to me; for fear that I would hurt her? We haven’t really had much conversation about past lovers, likes or disasters…I didn’t ask her because that would mean she would have to be prepared to reciprocate with answers that I would rather not give at this stage of the relationship.

     Shaky would always mention being overweight and having love handles, was she kidding or was it a fishing expedition preparing me for something she thought could seriously affect the flow of this slow boat to China speed we were going. At this point, if Shaky thought she needed to be perfectly shaped and fit for me, then she really didn’t know me at all. Now I wasn’t expecting to meet Ester from Sanford and Sons. I had no idea; it had been almost two months and we still haven’t had sex with each other. Last night I was thinking would Shaky put her stamp of approval of me by introducing me to her kids.

     Finally, we decided to meet up halfway in Cedarville on New Years Eve, check into a hotel at ten o’clock on a Wednesday night, 2 hours before the new year. I checked in, go showered, put the baby oil on the night stand, set up the Bluetooth speaker to play some Heather Headley love tunes, chilled the bottle of wine and dim the lights. Texted Shaky the room number, second floor, room 204.

At midnight it was a New Year I would never forget; sitting in the dark room alone once again. 12:01am.

The End!

“Andrea Latoya Denice Scott Murphy Brown (Acrimony)” by A.Dakala

Sometimes you have to know when to walk away with a clean slate. Love hurts like a fresh scar, but over time wounds do heal. See when you throw bullets by hand without using a gun, the damages are repairable. No one sees your dream when they are still dreaming, you can’t believe in others when you don’t believe in yourself. Finally, how can you love someone  when you never been loved?

We met ackwardly but seem to hit it off quickly. Both tired of the bullshit we endured over the years dealing with unstable, selfish and self center individuals. Of course I overlooked the fact that the only wall between them and their past was a legal separation and a pending divorce or the fact that her life was valued on her friends opinions. Deep down I had my doubts especially when I would mention marriage, it was like krytonite to her. I had to understand that she did have two fail marriages; both resulted in cheating and the birth of other kids. So deep down she was a walking time bomb ready to explode.

When we got together it was magical, our sex was a cross between sexual fantasies and soft porn. No hold bars, nothing was off limits. Our kisses were hotter than the wildfires out in California. It didn’t take long to get us started all we needed was eye contact.

As the days, weeks and months grew longer; so did our love for each other. We found ourselves sexing every day, spending every evening together. We drunk bottles of wine, glass after glass and sexed until we were exhausted from multiple orgasms.

There was another side that I started not to like and that was the materialistic side, that made her feel she needed to buy expensive brands because her friends were. Unnecessary spending that had me questioning how life would be if we were to settle down. I loved nice things, but not to the point I needed to impress anyone. When she hung out with her friends, the bad influences would kick in. Having a man didn’t matter, the texts would stop, the phone calls didn’t exist. She started to change right in front of me, I saw it from a distance. When I mentioned it, it turned into a argument. Then things hit a dead end on a trip she took back home. Let’s just say, she enjoyed ignoring my texts and phone calls for 4 days while she spend time with her best girlfriend and the married man she was dating and his brother who was my so called girlfriend’s date. He also claimed to be a Pastor who conducted marriage counseling; picture that and he knew she had a man. I won’t go into details, but in 4 days, there were concerts, hotels, airport pick ups and lunch dates all under my nose. Things hoes do, man or woman.

So the relationship ended; for 5 months, and I wasn’t going to be bothered with her. I ignored every text and phone call from her. Until oneday I was caught off guard by an anonymous number. I didn’t want to be dudes, so I entertained the I miss you and I can’t stop thinking of you comments. I knew where it was going, she been out there fucking losers, and realized what she had in me and wanted to get back on home plate. She wanted to see me so bad. For the next two weeks, I played hard to get, then I broke down after the repeated sex talks and titty pics. No lie the pussy was the bomb, but I’m more than sex is what my mind was saying; but my penis was hard headed. What made it worst is that her son was gone to Florida for the summer; staying at her pops. So those sexual nights sneaking in the living, spreading covers on the floor, pulling out the KY jelly, had us in the bedroom for the summer. She would go shower, get out butt naked and instantly I would be turned on. She was all ass and breast.  We didn’t give a damn about the neighbors hearing us, bed post banging against the walls and we breaking masturbating records. Waking up the next morning not sure how or when we fell asleep.

Then reality would kick back in. What did we really have besides sex. At times we were compatible and then we wasn’t. Physically and mentally I was more settled down and out going with making things happen without procrastinating. She wanted to be kid free, like being a mom was a contract and once the kids were off to college her job was over. For me it was the opposite I loved my kids and would continue being a father to them even when they finished college. I loved things about her but I hated things about her as well.

Her trip to Macon I felt would re-connect our bond and it did one night. She was tipsy and I knew it but she wanted sex and we had great sex that night. Her favorite position was doggystyle and this time we recorded it like two porn stars.

The next night she was going out with the bad influencers to a home party. I texted and asked her what was she doing. She replied, “still having dinner and drinks”. That was around 7:30pm, maybe I shouldn’t have made an assumption, but I figured she would call once she was headed back in for the night. Nothing.

So the next morning I sent a text message voicing my opinion about it. We went back and forth, arguing through texts. She said if you want to talk you know how to find me. Hours went by, I really wasn’t going to reach out , but I said let me handle this differently. I sent 3 text messages, hours passed; no response. I picked up the phone and called, it went to voicemail immediately. I said “maybe I’m dialing too fast; I called again, same results. So I called her ass from my other cellphone and she picked up like she was waiting by the phone. “Oh so you blocking me now?” I said. “Well yes, because you seem like you wasn’t going to call me no more” she said. “I said ok, I got you and hung up in her ear!”. I blocked her from having access to me on all levels, emails, social sites etc. Until this day I haven’t spoken to her since, I’m sure she will have a blast at the essence festival with her freak-nik girlfriends. All I can do is wish her the best and thank her for months of us wasting time together just to sex.

Have another glass of wine, my dear.

A Heart Choice to make by A. Dakala

Waddell Crosby wasn’t your typical African American male with a college degree, tons of street smarts and loved by the ladies. He was the kind of man that a woman could love one night and call her best friend on other days; someone who would have your back and go to war with you whether you was wrong or right. Once Waddell was committed to you he would give you 100% of him; no part time anything in his life with reason.

A single man who could give a woman more than just a materialistic diamond ring or a Tiffany bracelet; he was the kind of man that most women would dream of having. Someone who showed unconditional love whether it was holding her hand while driving, arms locked while walking across the street or kissing on her neck standing in the checkout line at Walmart. Regardless anyone around Waddell would know that he showed his love to whoever he was with; his smile would light up a room; his well-groomed beard was somewhat perfect as if he was modeling his beard for a magazine cover, his cologne scent traveled from block the block. Fahrenheit was his favorite cologne; both men and women would always approached him and compliment him on how good he smelled.

But now there’s a new year approaching; 2019! Waddell is ready to settle down with one special woman in his life. The problem he’s having is he has been dating consistently three different women. There’s been no commitment to either woman just consistently dating, conversing on the phone but he have had sex with all three of them at some point throughout the course of dating them. Each one of these females bring something different to the table that one doesn’t have and now Waddell has to decide on the qualities that these female brings. Which one are branded qualities and which ones are qualities that could make a break a good love relationship.

First there was Fresca Sparkle, she’s sweet as black cherry citrus on a hot summer day but cold as winter. She was smart as Albert Einstein; love to read books and would correct you for using improper grammar as if she was a school teacher wearing Gucci shades standing in high heels. Well educated; holding a master’s degree. She really could have been a doctor. The problem with Fresca; she wasn’t consistent or persistent and couldn’t remember what she did day after day. She wasn’t into fashions, brands didn’t mean nothing to her. A typical day of dressing up for her would be wearing a nice sweatsuit with some flip flops and she would throw her long black hair back into a ponytail but she was sexy as hell though and very beautiful. She reminded me of a California woman cool, calm and collective that just wanted to be loved by a good man. Sex with her was like flipping a coin, some days it was good, some days it was just ok and sometimes it didn’t exist. When we was out on a date we had a great time holding hands, conversing and laughing with each other as if we were best friends and lovers; but there was another side to her that I hated. She always wanted to play the victim never was wrong, always was right and not to mention I caught her in so many lies I just never addressed it, it just wasn’t that serious to me. Another thing that I observed was all of her friends seem to be gay or lesbians.

One thing I did love about her though; no matter what she had my back. She never put her friends before her man even though I truly wasn’t her man but we were dating and she would drop her plans that she had to spend time with me on any given day. Fresca loved cleaning her house always kept it clean very family oriented; that definitely was a plus coming from a man who wanted to have kids and build his own foundation of a family. She paid her bills on time, she didn’t club, she didn’t drink unless it was socially and she never smoked. She was a good girl trying to be better and made it to the scale of wifey material possibly.

Secondly there was Constant Bauman; sexy as hell on the outside, wore the latest fashions, smell good and look good in everything she wore; a true diamond in the rough. Whatever the latest fashion and brands out there where she had it or plan to get it. The problem I had with her was she had low self-esteem and she couldn’t seem to make her own decisions without seeking the advice of her fake friends. Once again another female playing the victim like her shit don’t stink. Another issue I had with her was it seemed that all of her friends around her were gay or lesbians even though she claimed that she was 100% straight. I can tell in conversation that she’s dated a lot of men in her past life not that she’s had sex with all of them but she’s dating a lot of men most of them were drug dealers, on drugs at some point or proclaim to have money.

Now what I did love about her is the sex we had was off the chart; it was no holds bar. Whatever we wanted to do we did. I was truly addicted to making love to this woman; it was always exciting, full of energy and she threw it back just as much as I gave it to her. I can honestly say I never had a sexual complaint when it came to her, hell I’m thinking about sexing her right now as I’m writing this. She loved cleaning her house; always kept it clean; sometimes I wondered was it all just a showboat to impress people. Was she wifey material? She could be but there was a few things that she definitely would need to work on; like handling the same things that she dishes out. She was a work in progress; a good girl trying to be better.

Thirdly there’s Anastasia Faust; also a very smart and intelligent individual that would sometimes give you the impression that she knew way more than you did on any subject, any topic, any time of the day. She would definitely intimidate a weak man especially when it comes to making life decisions. Granted every man in her past life followed her lead as if she wore the pants. I guess that’s what happened when a strong-minded woman meets a man with no potential and the men in her past had no potential for what I’m hearing.

One of the things I didn’t like about her is not having enough drive in her life to do better or want more. Yes she was college educated but I still feel like she didn’t apply herself. She had a great mind for business, good with numbers, great with her hands; love to figure things out or read instructions and put things together. Family oriented on a scale of 1 to 10 I would say she was a four. The type of woman who at some point in her life wanted her freedom away from kids. Now when it comes to having a clean house, she damn sure was a pack rat and the whole time that we’ve been dating; I never seen her pick up a broom, a mop or even dust rag; kind of reminded me of a hoarder.

One thing I did love about her is the sex was great. Definitely no holds bar; there was no rules or no regulations; she could go all night; I made a tap out a few times. I never had to initiate sex with her as soon as she seen me it was hugs, kisses and then she would start unbutton my clothes. A true man’s dream; I’m closing my eyes now just picturing the softness of her lips on my entire body from head to toe. Well she wifey material definitely with alittle adjustment. She didn’t club, she didn’t smoke and she would only drink socially; she just loved having a good time and just wanted to be loved by a good man. A good girl trying to be better.

So I decided in the year 2019 I was going to make a final decision and choose only one of these ladies to be a part of my life, my circle, my growth and the last brick to my foundation. So I decided to choose from a very heart decision; Ms.!

Searching for King by A. Dakala

As I look back on the one person that got away; I’m often reminded that I may not ever find my King. My life changed the day he left and hasn’t been the same since.

It was my best friend; Mary’s birthday coming up next week and also Black Gay Pride anniversary in Atlanta so the city will have parties on every corner. It was also my boyfriend Curtis King’s best friend engagement dinner that he had been asking me to attend with him for weeks. I admit I did say I would go only because Mary hadn’t made any plans for her birthday as of yet. As the days got closer to the engagement party I knew I had to give him an answer. So I guess I will have to miss out on my best friends party I really wanted to go; being with my boyfriend’s friends will be so boring and they are so corny. All these guys wanted to do is sit around talking about their pledging days in college. Everytime I meet one of them; there were a different chic present thinking she was cute as hell with a need to make a lace front hair appointment as soon as possible look. This one chic had it out for me I believe, everytime I looked up she was rolling her damn eyes at me and in Curtis face every chance she got. Tonight I guess I will confirm my plans with Curtis once I get home.

I was already to confirm when Mary called me; as I was putting the key in the door to enter the house. “Tamika, girl it’s all set, I have rented us a mansion over in Sandy Springs for my birthday bash” she said. “Shit” I said out loud. “Is something wrong girl?” “Mary, I will call you right back let me get in the house and get settled”.

“How are you babe?” Curtis said as I stood by the door taking off my heels. “It’s been a long long day” I said. I tried to avoid any eye contact with Curtis; knowing he was expecting an answer from me. But he was very pushy and methodical. He grabs me by my hands and pulls me into his chest, kissing my neck. Then those words surface, whispering into my ear; baby since it’s hard for you to decide on what you are doing, go ahead and go hang out with your friends. My heart stopped for a moment. “Why you don’t won’t me to go now?”. “I do but I don’t want you to disappoint your friends to hangout with my lame boys”. I couldn’t have said it better. “Ok” I said. I pushed myself out of his arms and pulled out my cellphone. As I looked back at Curtis he had already went upstairs.

“Mary I’m going to your party, Curtis had a change of heart and encourage me to go; girl it’s on and popping now” I said.

Curtis was at the top of the stairs ear hustling; listening and sending out “she fell for it” text messages to his friends.

Curtis had it all planned out, crashing her girlfriend’s party to get down on one knee since most of her friends would be there and asking her to marry him.

The day of Mary’s party created the perfect mood, I sexed Curtis so long last night as if it would be our last supper. He slept like a baby, all I could do is think of the party and the nasty shit that’s about to take place tonight. I made sure he was satisfied by doing some freaky shit I normally don’t do.

Mary called and said the surprise were all set and this was going to be a circus of a great time to remember for life.

Curtis left the house; saying he had something to get together for tonight, I paid his ass no attention.

Once I was at the party, the liquor and food was popping, all the girls were there we all changed into just bra and thongs. Allot of titties and ass walking around. Then the doorbell rang. It was all chocolate muscles and penis and a couple of bad bitches too. Oh my God these guys were packing, all I could think about was my poor old uterus. The girls were beautiful and had big asses. I’m not big curious but tonight I was.

We all picked the guys and girls we wanted and the fun began.

A hour into our orgy the door open and someone stopped the music; we didn’t realize it. There were cameras and confetti, and my mouth dropped as Curtis should there with his friends and mother with a black box in his hand. I couldn’t move sitting on this random guys lap with his penis erected inside me and my hands gripped around the titties of another woman. Mrs. King , Curtis’s mother walked out, I jumped up, with Siemen dripping from my vaginal lips to reach out to Curtis. He turned his back and walked out.

That was the worse day of my life. Fast forward I’m now with a loser, who will not keep a job. The sex is terrible and I’m scared to leave him from the threats of harming me. I feel trapped.

Clitoris by A.Dakala

It was something about the enjoyment I got out of sucking on her clitoris. We were both very sexual homosapiens with high sex drives.

I sat at work thinking of pulling her panties off as she stood there in high heels; nipples erected through her padded Victoria secrets bra. Picturing myself I’m down on my knees with both hands gripping her ass cheeks like two basketballs. Everytime I would lick the right spot on her vaginal; her butt cheeks would push slowly in and out to my abrasive strokes.

Our connection was strong as black coffee, no sugar , no cream. Our body sweat combined was enough to impregnate the soil beneath the concrete. I wish my tongue was longer; the thought of wanting to blow kissing inside her stomach as I spreaded her vaginal lips east to west.

It turned me on when she would take your fingers and rub her clitoris, finger tips creamy and put them in her mouth. Sucking them as if she had my manhood held like a bratwurst. As I’m looking up at her squeezing her ass harder, my tongue strokes were getting stronger; feeling her body twitching getting her closer to her boiling point. Her nipples looked as if they wanted to burst out of her hazel pecan skin; growing from a dime to quarter like Pinocchio’s nose . I reached up with one arm and gently squeezed one nipple. She literally released an orgasm so hard as if she was holding her urine in 5 o’clock rush hour traffic on I-285 east. She roared like a Lion as her juices had me swimming in the Aquatic center pool. I had to peep at her with one eye to make sure she wasn’t transforming into someone that wasn’t suppose to be there. I didn’t want to drop no juices, my esophagus was in over drive like a hellcat shifting into six gear. It was sweet, tangy, bitter, coating and warm. Sexcrise mixed with natural protein.

I was definitely hooked and had her hooked as well. Her body had been defeated with her waving an invisible white flag of surrender. Slowly fallen down to the floor in a fetus position with me bracing her body. She had to push me away as her clitoris left only a drop of orgasm juice. I teased it with the tip of my tongue. She tighten her thighs, I pressed the inside of her legs trying to over power her tense muscles. If my lips had not branded her cravings enough but I would have paid top dollar for her juices being bottled up and sold like pints of milk.

We both laid there breathing hard as if we crossed the finish line in a track meet, chest going up and down; as our lungs were trying to catch up to our sexual cardio. We look over at each other and said “Damn, I need some water at the same time!”

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