The Shape of Water by A. Dakala

Last night I didn’t sleep well and it’s starting to show this morning; I’ve already had four cups of coffee in the last two hours. My girlfriend was up late last night arguing with her baby daddy about not receiving child support in two months and about him not spending time with his son on his agreed weekends. Personally I have no problem stepping in for the absent father; infact we actually have fun together as a family.

I try to stay out of her and his business involving their son; unless I see or hear things getting out of hand. The past few months things have gotten out of control; these late-night conversations and me not being able to get any sleep before getting up at 4 a.m. in the mornings to go to work; has taken a toll on my nerves. On one occasion I had to confront her son’s father on calling my girl a bitch in front of little BJ. Everytime she confronts the father about things that he’s not doing there’s always bad vibes circulating throughout our household. Now I have to put my foot down on somethings that has to change immediately or my relationship will end up on the wrong side of the tracks.

This morning I have to fly out to St. Louis on a business trip. Last night me and Tina had a disagreement on whether she should allow her son’s father to pick little BJ up from school since I won’t be available. The only issue I have with that he wants to take BJ back to his house afterwards. So my question to her was “where else will he take him?” and her reply was “he should just wait in our driveway until she gets home from work”. First of all I do not want her son’s father at my house in my driveway while I am out of town. Her first reply was “you don’t trust me do you?”. It’s not about trust it’s about respect; either he is going to be BJ’s father and she allowed him to be just that or he don’t pick his son up from school. Once I said that Tina gets mad and walks out the room and slams the bedroom door.

So sleeping in bed last night felt like sleeping on a block of ice. I knew I would be leaving soon and I wanted to do so on a good love making vibe.

I think she wore my favorite see through lingerie on purpose but we both are stubborn as hell; so no one made the first move. I even got in bed naked to send her a signal; but she turnt over with her back towards me. I pretended to be hot and pulled the covers off of me exposing myself. She looks over her shoulder and said “you better cover him up before he catches a cold.” She then pulled the covers over her head. There’s nothing like being horny, pissed and mad.

“Andrea Latoya Denice Scott Murphy Brown (Acrimony)” by A.Dakala

Sometimes you have to know when to walk away with a clean slate. Love hurts like a fresh scar, but over time wounds do heal. See when you throw bullets by hand without using a gun, the damages are repairable. No one sees your dream when they are still dreaming, you can’t believe in others when you don’t believe in yourself. Finally, how can you love someone  when you never been loved?

We met ackwardly but seem to hit it off quickly. Both tired of the bullshit we endured over the years dealing with unstable, selfish and self center individuals. Of course I overlooked the fact that the only wall between them and their past was a legal separation and a pending divorce or the fact that her life was valued on her friends opinions. Deep down I had my doubts especially when I would mention marriage, it was like krytonite to her. I had to understand that she did have two fail marriages; both resulted in cheating and the birth of other kids. So deep down she was a walking time bomb ready to explode.

When we got together it was magical, our sex was a cross between sexual fantasies and soft porn. No hold bars, nothing was off limits. Our kisses were hotter than the wildfires out in California. It didn’t take long to get us started all we needed was eye contact.

As the days, weeks and months grew longer; so did our love for each other. We found ourselves sexing every day, spending every evening together. We drunk bottles of wine, glass after glass and sexed until we were exhausted from multiple orgasms.

There was another side that I started not to like and that was the materialistic side, that made her feel she needed to buy expensive brands because her friends were. Unnecessary spending that had me questioning how life would be if we were to settle down. I loved nice things, but not to the point I needed to impress anyone. When she hung out with her friends, the bad influences would kick in. Having a man didn’t matter, the texts would stop, the phone calls didn’t exist. She started to change right in front of me, I saw it from a distance. When I mentioned it, it turned into a argument. Then things hit a dead end on a trip she took back home. Let’s just say, she enjoyed ignoring my texts and phone calls for 4 days while she spend time with her best girlfriend and the married man she was dating and his brother who was my so called girlfriend’s date. He also claimed to be a Pastor who conducted marriage counseling; picture that and he knew she had a man. I won’t go into details, but in 4 days, there were concerts, hotels, airport pick ups and lunch dates all under my nose. Things hoes do, man or woman.

So the relationship ended; for 5 months, and I wasn’t going to be bothered with her. I ignored every text and phone call from her. Until oneday I was caught off guard by an anonymous number. I didn’t want to be dudes, so I entertained the I miss you and I can’t stop thinking of you comments. I knew where it was going, she been out there fucking losers, and realized what she had in me and wanted to get back on home plate. She wanted to see me so bad. For the next two weeks, I played hard to get, then I broke down after the repeated sex talks and titty pics. No lie the pussy was the bomb, but I’m more than sex is what my mind was saying; but my penis was hard headed. What made it worst is that her son was gone to Florida for the summer; staying at her pops. So those sexual nights sneaking in the living, spreading covers on the floor, pulling out the KY jelly, had us in the bedroom for the summer. She would go shower, get out butt naked and instantly I would be turned on. She was all ass and breast.  We didn’t give a damn about the neighbors hearing us, bed post banging against the walls and we breaking masturbating records. Waking up the next morning not sure how or when we fell asleep.

Then reality would kick back in. What did we really have besides sex. At times we were compatible and then we wasn’t. Physically and mentally I was more settled down and out going with making things happen without procrastinating. She wanted to be kid free, like being a mom was a contract and once the kids were off to college her job was over. For me it was the opposite I loved my kids and would continue being a father to them even when they finished college. I loved things about her but I hated things about her as well.

Her trip to Macon I felt would re-connect our bond and it did one night. She was tipsy and I knew it but she wanted sex and we had great sex that night. Her favorite position was doggystyle and this time we recorded it like two porn stars.

The next night she was going out with the bad influencers to a home party. I texted and asked her what was she doing. She replied, “still having dinner and drinks”. That was around 7:30pm, maybe I shouldn’t have made an assumption, but I figured she would call once she was headed back in for the night. Nothing.

So the next morning I sent a text message voicing my opinion about it. We went back and forth, arguing through texts. She said if you want to talk you know how to find me. Hours went by, I really wasn’t going to reach out , but I said let me handle this differently. I sent 3 text messages, hours passed; no response. I picked up the phone and called, it went to voicemail immediately. I said “maybe I’m dialing too fast; I called again, same results. So I called her ass from my other cellphone and she picked up like she was waiting by the phone. “Oh so you blocking me now?” I said. “Well yes, because you seem like you wasn’t going to call me no more” she said. “I said ok, I got you and hung up in her ear!”. I blocked her from having access to me on all levels, emails, social sites etc. Until this day I haven’t spoken to her since, I’m sure she will have a blast at the essence festival with her freak-nik girlfriends. All I can do is wish her the best and thank her for months of us wasting time together just to sex.

Have another glass of wine, my dear.

Purified DaSani by A. Dakala

No more sex until a man puts a ring on my finger and ready to get married in 30 days.

My last relationship was a hit or miss. This man wouldn’t even answer his phone half of the time. I hate having to call someone three or four times, then get a text message back fifteen minutes later saying “call you in a few minutes”. A bunch of unnecessary bullshit I call it. As soon as I would tell him how I feel about it he would get all in his feelings; then it would turn into an argument. This time I took a different approach, I didn’t pick up my damn phone when he called. After an hour had passed, my doorbell rang around eleven o’clock. I made sure I came to the door wearing my favorite lingerie, my ass bulging out and nipples exposed. I would normally great him with a hug and kiss, but not tonight. I open the door and turned and walked away towards the bedroom. He stood there taking off his shoes because I didn’t play walking in my house with your shoes on. As soon as I got in the bedroom, I put on some house shorts and a t-shirt. By the time he made his way to the bedroom I had my back turnt and earbuds in my ear playing Beyonce. “Won’t be no pussy for his ass this weekend that’s for sure.” I was saying to myself.

I woke up in the middle of the night to write in my journal. He never made it to bed; instead he was lying across the foot of the bed with his clothes still on. I shut the bedroom door so I wouldn’t disrupt him and goes into the living room.

This negro doesn’t realize the prize possession he has been blessed with. I don’t club, I don’t smoke, I have a great career, my sex is to die for, I take care of his ass and my home is his home. I don’t stress him about coming to his house because I know his dad leaves there and sells drugs. I’m not trying to be caught there in some type of police raid. I deserve better, I demand better! He walks around with his phone in the waistline of his boxers and it’s always on silent. “I need some church wine Lord” I said. Walking into the kitchen I tripped over his damn shoes just lying in the middle of the hall way. As I picked one of them up; a hotel room key falls out. Something is not right about the red flags God has presented to me right now. My hand started shaking in the middle of my thought process. I turned on the TV and there was an infomercial playing. The message was clear as if it was speaking to me. “To be treated like a Queen, you must first be purified mentally and understand your worth physically. One doesn’t disarm separately; it’s a package deal”.

With my pistol in and and cell phone in hand to dail 9-1-1 if needed too; I woke that nigga up at 3:13 am and gave him back his hotel room key. I told him he needed to go check on that bitch at the Holiday Inn Express and I needed him to leave my place now; oh and take anything that belongs to him; since you won’t be coming back! Of course he wanted to plead his case blame his homeboy that I never met or knew.

As soon as my door shut behind his ass; I turned on my alarm, took out my gold case from my panty drawer, grabbed my KY Jelly lubrication and hit the power switch on my dildo!

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