The Shape of Water by A. Dakala

Last night I didn’t sleep well and it’s starting to show this morning; I’ve already had four cups of coffee in the last two hours. My girlfriend was up late last night arguing with her baby daddy about not receiving child support in two months and about him not spending time with his son on his agreed weekends. Personally I have no problem stepping in for the absent father; infact we actually have fun together as a family.

I try to stay out of her and his business involving their son; unless I see or hear things getting out of hand. The past few months things have gotten out of control; these late-night conversations and me not being able to get any sleep before getting up at 4 a.m. in the mornings to go to work; has taken a toll on my nerves. On one occasion I had to confront her son’s father on calling my girl a bitch in front of little BJ. Everytime she confronts the father about things that he’s not doing there’s always bad vibes circulating throughout our household. Now I have to put my foot down on somethings that has to change immediately or my relationship will end up on the wrong side of the tracks.

This morning I have to fly out to St. Louis on a business trip. Last night me and Tina had a disagreement on whether she should allow her son’s father to pick little BJ up from school since I won’t be available. The only issue I have with that he wants to take BJ back to his house afterwards. So my question to her was “where else will he take him?” and her reply was “he should just wait in our driveway until she gets home from work”. First of all I do not want her son’s father at my house in my driveway while I am out of town. Her first reply was “you don’t trust me do you?”. It’s not about trust it’s about respect; either he is going to be BJ’s father and she allowed him to be just that or he don’t pick his son up from school. Once I said that Tina gets mad and walks out the room and slams the bedroom door.

So sleeping in bed last night felt like sleeping on a block of ice. I knew I would be leaving soon and I wanted to do so on a good love making vibe.

I think she wore my favorite see through lingerie on purpose but we both are stubborn as hell; so no one made the first move. I even got in bed naked to send her a signal; but she turnt over with her back towards me. I pretended to be hot and pulled the covers off of me exposing myself. She looks over her shoulder and said “you better cover him up before he catches a cold.” She then pulled the covers over her head. There’s nothing like being horny, pissed and mad.

Quepasa by A. Dakala

Sitting at the bar having my usual shots of tequila. Mentally I’m exhausted from work and my home life seems to be a joggling act; trying to get my house sold. Not to mention I had to curse out my next door neighbor for allowing his deranged mutt to continuously shit on my lawn after I threaten to call the dog pound.

Once again I find myself giving someone chance after chance. Back to my mental exhaustion; I guess it has a lot to do with how my love life seems to be a run away train at times. Then the bombshell of the entire week was finding out my man has a child on the way with my manager’s sister that he has been keeping a secret from me. Though I didn’t know he dated this incompetent ghetto barbie until I saw his picture on my manager’s Facebook page. As I think back to it now I’m wondering is this the reason I keep getting looked over on promotions I apply for and my home sex life seems to be a daily excuse.

Today hasn’t been a good day; the ghetto Barbie is here visiting her sister; my manager at the office and I have to look her in her face. I want to curse her ass out and beat that ass but I blame my so call man. I know my manager knows a lot more then I do about the situation. If I could just get her ass fired or key her car may be flatten her tires or loosen the lugs; I would feel better. Mentally I want to get revenge on everyone around me that’s involved with this shit show. Being the Christian woman I’m trying to be i know that’s not right.

Last night he called me trying to apologize in one breath and then in another breath he’s trying to say that she was there for him when I wasn’t. I guess me giving up my dreams of getting my master degree and taking out loans so his ass could have a car to drive to work or paying his past due bills so his beacon score could look halfway decent wasn’t me being there for him. This sorry son-of-a-bitch didn’t even have the nerve to come home on my birthday and I took off that day from his request.

Tonight I think I’m putting his ass out I don’t give a damn where he goes, I know he can go stay with her; for my understanding she lives with her sister. I think today is going to be my last day at work; I’ve had it up to here I have a nice savings account that I can afford to be without a job for at least 6 months. There should be no problem for me finding a job and after tonight I know shit will hit the fan at work because I’m about let it all out.

So my plan is to prepare a nice lovely steak dinner, with salad, loaded baked potatoes; and his favorite bottle of wine. I might have Marvin Gaye or Teddy pendergrass playing and then I’mma let his ass have it as I throw all that shit in the garbage can, with a thank you card and his suit case standing by the exit!

A Pastor who robbed God by A. Dakala

Hell where shall I begin. Met this brother on a online dating site and things between us clicked very well in fact we shared the exact same birthday together and ironically drive the same car. I just had to meet him. So after two weeks of texting and conversation we decided to meet up at a Buffalo wild wings in Sandy Springs perimeter area. Of course I got there first, wanting to make sure I wasn’t being catfished by the exchange of pictures I had became attractive too.

He pulled up in a white vehicle, so far so good he has great taste in cars. I made my way from my car to his vehicle before he could step foot out on the pavement. We greeted each with a hug. Very nice and he smelt good too almost didn’t want to let go. We walked closely into the sports bar as if he was already my man. I kept thinking to myself; we look good together. The only two things I didn’t too much care for was the blonde box hair style with the b-boy lines in the back. Not to say it didn’t look good but only if you were in your twenties. But it was his style so if he loves it I like it. The second thing was wanting to ask him did he workout because he did have a rather overweight Belly; but wore it well. At this point in my life it wasn’t about the physical anymore with guys I wanted a great personality. Plus I was alittle self conscious about my teeth, they was straight and pearly whites as his was but in due time I would be working on paying for that perfect smile like half of America. I’m sure he did too. It didn’t keep me from laughing and smiling enjoying the evening with mister Detroit.

Our conversation over lemon pepper wings were very engaging and deep as we discuss relationships and family. There were no hold bars as we looked into each other’s pupils. This was the start of something great and we couldn’t stop mentioning that having birthdays on the same date was a first for the both of us.

My heart knew at this time I should have been honest with him about me still being married on paper but going through a divorce but I was thinking selfishly. I figured it would be granted soon and life could go on. Separated for 4 years and ready to go on with my life.

As time passes and days turned into months the layers of La’Troy Murray started coming off. I noticed that all of his friends were gay, lesbians or bi. One of his best friends was HIV positive that we often sat on the phone and gossip with daily. The more we interacted the more I saw his low self steem and needing his Friends to validate who he was. Not to mention a label whore sort of; always trying to fit in with a brand. But I was on the outside looking in, some of his actions didn’t add up at all. I admit I wasn’t 100% honest myself in the beginning, because I fell in love; but that doesn’t make my actions justifiable. We were together everyday, every night having sex and doing things together very often.

Then came the going to his class reunion incident that put mud all over our foundation.

So we had a disagreement once he was there and he took it upon himself not to answer my texts or calls for four days, yes it was all planned out, but he made it look good but falsely mentioning he wanted me to go. In reality he didn’t want me too. So he left and every place he said he would be was a lie. Claims he would visit his mom but his mom didn’t see him til the last day briefly after two days of being there. His best whore friend Charlie was dating a married woman and introduce La’Troy to her sister a false representative of God. She suppose to be in church actively counseling married couples but out here trying screw another woman’s man. The things hethans do for some sex.

So yes my man hung out with this devil character, enjoyed a concert with her, took pictures and to top it off went back to a hotel with her. I found out all of this by going through his phone one night while we both were sleeping and his phone kept lighting up. I wasn’t even going to presue it until the message read Regina white and thinking of you. As I read through the messages I realized he didn’t talk to me for four days because he was with this bitch as broad.

(Pastor Reggie White- counseling individuals on marriage but breaking up relationships on the weekend because the devil had him thinking with his penis.)

Grace Covenant Christian Church

2885 Clay Ave
San Diego, CA 92113

Will a man Rob God? Yes Pastor Reggie White did.

Beautiful Chaos by A. Dakala

It was a match made in heaven that turn into hell. It all started on a trip to the grocery store to buy eggs and cheese for breakfast. If it wasn’t for me Rushing that morning I would have gotten a basket instead of trying to hold all the groceries in my arm and that’s how the carton of eggs fell and splattered everywhere. There was a lady with her back turned getting milk out of the cooler, who ran to my rescue; I think she just felt sorry for me since I looked helpless. Our hands both reached for the empty carton at the same time; her hand overlapping my hand. At that moment I felt a warm sensation running up the veins of my arm that took me by surprise. Immediately my eyes got fixated on the fact that she did not have a wedding ring or any ring of that sort on her finger.

“Let me help you?” she said. This little old lady who was passing by grab the roll of paper towels off the shelf and handed them to me as we both clean the splattered eggs out of the middle of the aisle. The lady that helped me introduced herself as Samantha Rose. I was so embarrassed I just bust out laughing and reach my arm out to help her up as I repeated thank you so much. She just looked at me with such beautiful smile and hazel brown eyes “the pleasure was all mine” she said. I could only stare at her as she spoke.

One of the floor staff got a mop and started mopping the area.

I think I walked down every aisle in the store looking for Miss Rose but she was nowhere to be found. There was something about the energy I felt as both of our hands touched a feeling that I had never felt before.

As I was standing at the cash register paying for my items someone walked up behind me and tugged on the back of my shirt and as I looked around and it was Miss Rose she said that she had went to the restroom to wash her hands but came back out to give me her business card. Inside my heart was pounding, my brain was excited and my eyes were bulged out without any blinking. I offered to take her to lunch for helping me and she just smiled and said well you have my number now; whenever you decide or where you decide you want to take me to lunch please give me a call. Hell at that moment I felt like buying all the customers in the store cartons of eggs; this woman was beautiful.

As I was sitting at the stop light headed home I locked her number in my phone with every intentions of calling her once I got settled or finish breakfast that morning. I placed my cell phone on the coffee table and started cooking breakfast as my dog Mimi walk in and out of the kitchen. I was only in the kitchen for less than 45 minutes when I heard Mimi playing in the bathroom toilet again.

As I walked in the bathroom I could have just hit the wall Mimi had dropped my cell phone in the toilet and was trying to flush it. All I could think about was Miss Rose that I met today; I didn’t know her number by heart and I promised her that I would give her a call tonight. Now I’m fishing for my cell phone out of the toilet and it would not turn on.

Mimi knew I was very disappointed and exited quickly out of the bathroom and ran and hide under my bed.

the first thing that came to mind was to take my cell phone and submerged in a sandwich bag full of rice, I was told putting your wet cell phone in rice sometimes take an hour sometimes a day or two but eventually it would come on not sure of the logic behind it but I’ve heard that it works. Every hour I was checking my cell phone to see would it turn on and every hour I was disappointed I watch the clock go from 7pm, to 8pm to 9pm and I really didn’t want to break my promise of calling her.

I woke up depressed this morning because the whole night pass and I did not retrieve Miss Rose’s number to give her a call like I promise. All I kept saying to myself was how can something that seems so right go so wrong; from a simple cell phone being dropped in the toilet full of water.

as days passed I found myself going back to that same grocery store around the same time each weekend just hoping that I would run into Miss Rose and explain to her the reason why she hasn’t heard from you. Even the grocery store clerk that helped us clean up the mess was asked by me did he remember the lady who helped that day. He said “yes she comes in here all the time”; but he hadn’t seen her in the last couple of days.

After a week of searching for Miss Rose my heart gave up and my mind was mentally exhausted. Weeks with soon pass I Miss Rose became an afterthought.

The weather seem to be getting a lot better since the snow had passed, so I decided to take a evening jog near one of the busiest park around the corner from my house. There was always beautiful women jogging in their spandex pants or boyshorts walking their untrained dogs; maybe I will get lucky. I was almost out of breath so I had to stop for a moment to full my lungs. On the other side of the tree I can hear a couple arguing and it was getting louder and louder. People jogging by almost ran on top of each other looking back as the argument seem to have caught everybody by surprise. I didn’t want to be nosy but I did hear two older ladies saying that’s Pastor Jones and the first lady from 1st cavalry Church. I pretended to be stretching just so I could glance at who this couple was calling each other broke nigga, bitches and hoes; representing whatever church they falsely attended.

Out of nowhere you could hear this Pastor with an open hand smack his wife and the sound echo through the park. I was Frozen as I ran to her rescue.

As she raised her head and stared into my face, I could tell she was hurt not by just the pain that he inflicted with his hands but hurt by knowing that she knew me and I knew Miss Rose.

Searching for King by A. Dakala

As I look back on the one person that got away; I’m often reminded that I may not ever find my King. My life changed the day he left and hasn’t been the same since.

It was my best friend; Mary’s birthday coming up next week and also Black Gay Pride anniversary in Atlanta so the city will have parties on every corner. It was also my boyfriend Curtis King’s best friend engagement dinner that he had been asking me to attend with him for weeks. I admit I did say I would go only because Mary hadn’t made any plans for her birthday as of yet. As the days got closer to the engagement party I knew I had to give him an answer. So I guess I will have to miss out on my best friends party I really wanted to go; being with my boyfriend’s friends will be so boring and they are so corny. All these guys wanted to do is sit around talking about their pledging days in college. Everytime I meet one of them; there were a different chic present thinking she was cute as hell with a need to make a lace front hair appointment as soon as possible look. This one chic had it out for me I believe, everytime I looked up she was rolling her damn eyes at me and in Curtis face every chance she got. Tonight I guess I will confirm my plans with Curtis once I get home.

I was already to confirm when Mary called me; as I was putting the key in the door to enter the house. “Tamika, girl it’s all set, I have rented us a mansion over in Sandy Springs for my birthday bash” she said. “Shit” I said out loud. “Is something wrong girl?” “Mary, I will call you right back let me get in the house and get settled”.

“How are you babe?” Curtis said as I stood by the door taking off my heels. “It’s been a long long day” I said. I tried to avoid any eye contact with Curtis; knowing he was expecting an answer from me. But he was very pushy and methodical. He grabs me by my hands and pulls me into his chest, kissing my neck. Then those words surface, whispering into my ear; baby since it’s hard for you to decide on what you are doing, go ahead and go hang out with your friends. My heart stopped for a moment. “Why you don’t won’t me to go now?”. “I do but I don’t want you to disappoint your friends to hangout with my lame boys”. I couldn’t have said it better. “Ok” I said. I pushed myself out of his arms and pulled out my cellphone. As I looked back at Curtis he had already went upstairs.

“Mary I’m going to your party, Curtis had a change of heart and encourage me to go; girl it’s on and popping now” I said.

Curtis was at the top of the stairs ear hustling; listening and sending out “she fell for it” text messages to his friends.

Curtis had it all planned out, crashing her girlfriend’s party to get down on one knee since most of her friends would be there and asking her to marry him.

The day of Mary’s party created the perfect mood, I sexed Curtis so long last night as if it would be our last supper. He slept like a baby, all I could do is think of the party and the nasty shit that’s about to take place tonight. I made sure he was satisfied by doing some freaky shit I normally don’t do.

Mary called and said the surprise were all set and this was going to be a circus of a great time to remember for life.

Curtis left the house; saying he had something to get together for tonight, I paid his ass no attention.

Once I was at the party, the liquor and food was popping, all the girls were there we all changed into just bra and thongs. Allot of titties and ass walking around. Then the doorbell rang. It was all chocolate muscles and penis and a couple of bad bitches too. Oh my God these guys were packing, all I could think about was my poor old uterus. The girls were beautiful and had big asses. I’m not big curious but tonight I was.

We all picked the guys and girls we wanted and the fun began.

A hour into our orgy the door open and someone stopped the music; we didn’t realize it. There were cameras and confetti, and my mouth dropped as Curtis should there with his friends and mother with a black box in his hand. I couldn’t move sitting on this random guys lap with his penis erected inside me and my hands gripped around the titties of another woman. Mrs. King , Curtis’s mother walked out, I jumped up, with Siemen dripping from my vaginal lips to reach out to Curtis. He turned his back and walked out.

That was the worse day of my life. Fast forward I’m now with a loser, who will not keep a job. The sex is terrible and I’m scared to leave him from the threats of harming me. I feel trapped.

60 seconds by A.Dakala

My woman had just made it back in the city after a well needed weekend vacation with your girls. She sounded so excited to see me today and I was very excited hearing that she was missing me. Of course I had to go into the office the morning she landed but we talked and texted each other every hour or so. I couldn’t help but watch the clock every second, it seemed as time was not moving or moving too slow. I even picked up the clock and changed the batteries to make sure it was working properly. Just to get ahead of the traffic left work early; that way I wouldn’t have her waiting too long. I did not mind waiting in the cell phone parking lot watching the airplanes take off and land; one after the other. The number of vehicles waiting would increase then decrease as the bright lights of their cellphones lit up as flights landed. Headlights would come on; engines would start up and then the vehicles would disappear as a fleet of red brake lights fade away in the distance to pick up their passengers.

Once I got the text that she had landed I knew my baby made it back safe and I would be in her arms in a few minutes. She has no idea that I was already there waiting for her and had a surprise that would change our lives forever. As I reclined back in my chair listening to the Boo’d Up sing, my cellphone rings. When I answered it, I could hear my girl fussing at someone. I hit mute on the phone and started recording the conversation. Then a man’s voice spoke “if you really don’t want him, then leave him so we can stop part-time sexing” he said. ” Well I’m not giving him none so you don’t have to worry about that” she said. I crunk up and drove to the parking deck and position myself so I could see the entire departure area. She didn’t realize that she had butt dailed me. The background got louder but the last thing I heard; was her saying “let me out where there’s a lot of people so I won’t be spotted, oh shit”! Then the phone disconnected. She must of realized she had called me.

I got out of car and open my trunk. Removed my tool box and pulled out my hidden envelope. She called “baby I’m home pick me up at door S4.” “Ok baby I’m here, coming to you now. As I walked closer to S4, I felt a sense of relief. I spotted her, she spotted me with all smiles. She open her arms for a hug, as I hugged her; I whispered in her ear. “Thank you!” “For what?” she said. I pressed play on my cellphone and played the conversation back. She was speechless. “Oh by the way, as I pulled out the envelope, my lottery numbers hit last night for $212 millions.” Tell that dude you was with this weekend; you need a ride from the airport!”

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