Someone stole two bottles of church wine, from the church basement today. This happened about a few minutes before the Pastor preached about Debauchery. There was only one bottle of wine left to share with the congregation on communion Sunday.
The Pastor made the announcement in the middle of the service, only thirty people will served communion. Today was a special occasion, using real eighty percent proof red wine imported from Barconda made from volcano ash. The church paid one thousand dollars for each bottle of wine; and it was suppose to bring youth to the bones and minds of all who consumed it.
The missing wine bottles had everyone looking at one another; “someone in thy church cottage is a theft and shall get their Heavenly visa revoked unless the juice that represents the blood of Jesus isn’t returned to they home” said Pastor Sully. A small voice from the back of the church echoed off the walls; “Pastor where is first lady Daphne?” she said. Everyone gasped, the Pastor looked around the room; even he was stun that she wasn’t present. He called her on the church intercom, no response, not a site of her. All the Deacons looked at each other; “now wait everyone before we go start judging and accusing my christian wife of such ungodly demon, let’s all settle down” said Pastor Sully. “Derrick play something to get us back to God’s work”. The choir director began to play the church’s favorite hymn; slowly the feet’s started tapping, the hands started clapping and before long mouths were humming or singing like Whitney Houston at a family reunion. Some of the folks sounded terrible but God doesn’t judge the trying that makes the effort. Pastor Sully smiled proudly on the outside, but on the inside he asked himself “where the hell this got damn woman at, got me up here faking the funk”.
As church services came to an end, Pastor Sully called for anyone that would like to be prayed for to walk down the aisles and if you couldn’t walk; raise your hand I will come to you. The church got silent; “I need forgiveness Pastor” a voice said loudly. Pastor Sully walks down the steps; combed his way through the crowd towards the raspy voice. On the third row from the back wall appeared a little old lady who wasn’t a church member holding a purse and a letter. As the Pastor approached her, she reaches out and hands him a gold envelope. He started to read it to himself; but little lady stopped him. “Your congregation needs to hear this, read it out loud sir” she said. One of the Deacons passes a paper towel to the Pastor to wipe the rainfall of sweat dripping from his forehead. Pastor Sully starts to read, “Dear Pastor Sully, you may want to………..
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